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Welcome
to
Devotional Gatherings....
The following collection of stories,
illustrations, and sometimes humorous
quips, contain items which have been showing up in my e-mail.
I claim no authorship nor ownership of them, but pass them on for
your use. Should you know any of these to be protected by copyright
please contact
me that they may be removed.
Hope you find them helpful.
Last
up date
4-13--2000
His name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it,
jeans and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire
four
years of college. He is brilliant. Kind of esoteric and very, very
bright.
He became a Christian while attending college. Across the street from
the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative church They want to
develop a ministry to the students, but are not sure how to go about
it.
One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans,
his
T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so Bill
starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is completely
packed and he can't find a seat. By now people are looking a
bit
uncomfortable, but no one says anything. Bill gets closer and
closer
and closer to the pulpit and, when he realizes there are no seats,
he
just squats down to sit, right on the carpet.
Although perfectly acceptable behavior at a college fellowship, this
had never happened in this church before! By now the people are really
uptight, and the tension in the air is thick. About this time, the
minister realizes that from the back of the church, a deacon is slowly
making his way toward Bill. This deacon is in his eighties, has
silver-gray hair, and a three-piece suit. A godly man, very elegant,
very dignified, very courtly. He walks with a cane and, as he starts
walking toward this boy, everyone is saying to themselves that you
can't blame him for what he's going to do. How can you expect a man
of
his age and of his background to understand some college kid on the
floor?
It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy. The church is
utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane. All
eyes are
focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minister
can't even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do.
And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With
great difficulty he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill, to
worship with him so he won't be alone. Everyone chokes up with emotion.
When the minister gains control, he says, "What I'm about to preach,
you might never remember. What you have just seen, you will never
forget. Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people
will ever read."
You try to enter your password on the microwave.
You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready,
and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"
Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa,
but
you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom
of the screen.
You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now
sells
for half the price you paid.
The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to
make a purchase is foreign to you.
Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they
do
not have e-mail addresses.
You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited
island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he
scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood
to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home
to find
his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The
worst had
happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger.
"God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship
that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did
you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw
your
smoke signal," they replied.
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we
shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in
the
midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little
hut
is burning to the ground----it just may be a smoke signal that summons
grace of God.
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a
positive answer for it :
You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 1:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John
13:34)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians
12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians
4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it. (Roman 8:28)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9
& Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of
fear
(II Timothy1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter
5:7)
You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of
faith
(Romans 12:3)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians
1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or
forsake you
(Hebrews13:5)
Pass this on. You never know who may be in need of this today.
The cute statements below are said to have been written by actual
students and are genuine, authentic and not retouched or corrected:
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating
the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like
Delilah.
Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened> bread
which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The fifth commandment is to humor thy father and mother.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical
times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna
Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus
in
the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before
they do one to you.
He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
which is
another name for marriage.
A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
How many of these do you remember?
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
5. Coffee shops with table side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive - 6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with levers
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulbs
20. Beanie and Cecil
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
>
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
IMAY NEVER SEE TOMORROW
I may never see tomorrow, there's no guarantee,
And things that happened yesterday belong to history.
I can't predict the future, I can't change the past,
I have just the present memories to treat as my last.
I must use this moment wisely, for soon it will pass away,
And be lost forever as a part of yesterday.
I must exercise compassion, help the fallen to their
feet,
Be a friend unto the friendless, make their life
complete.
The unkind things I do today, may never be undone,
And friendships that I fail to win, may never
more be won.
I may not have another chance on bended knees to pray, And I thank
God
with a humble heart for giving me this day!
Send this to everyone you care about to show them you
appreciate them, for one day you might not be there to
tell them.
Funny how a $100 "looks" so big when taken to church, but
so small when taken to the mall.
Funny how long it takes to serve God for an hour, but how
quickly a team plays 60 minutes of basketball.
Funny how long a couple of hours spent at church are, but
how short they are when watching a movie.
Funny how people can't think of anything to say when they
pray, but don't have difficulty thinking of things to talk about to
a
friend.
Funny how people get thrilled when a baseball game goes
into extra innings, but complain when a sermon is longer than the
regular time.
Funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the bible, but
how easy it is to read 100 pages of a best selling novel.
Funny how people want to get a front seat at any game or
concert, but scramble to get a back seat at church services.
Funny how people need 2 or 3 weeks advance notice to fit a
church event into their schedule, but can adjust their schedule
for other events at the last moment.
Funny how hard it is for people to learn a simple gospel
well enough to tell others, but how simple it is for the same people
to
understand and repeat gossip.
Funny how people believe what the newspaper says, but
question what the Bible says.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do
not have to believe, or to think, or to say, or do anything.
Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail
and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages
regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
FUNNY, ISN'T IT ?
Are you laughing?
Are you thinking?
Spread the Word and give thanks to the Lord for He is good!
(return to Contents)
Subject: Mrs. Thompson
There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher.
Her name was Mrs. Thompson. And as she stood in front
of
her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she
told
the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked
at her
students and said that she loved them all the same. But
that
was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped
in
his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs.Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and
noticed that he didn't play well with the other children,
that his
clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath.
And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point
where
Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his
papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then
putting
a big "F" at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required
to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's
off
until last. However, when she reviewed his file,
she was in for
a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child
with
a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good
manners...he is a joy to be around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent
student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled
because his mother has a terminal illness and life at
home
must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has
been
hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't
show much interest and his home life will soon affect
him if
some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn
and
doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have
many
friends and sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was
ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her
students
brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons
and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was
clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got
from
a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in
the
middle of the other presents. Some of the children started
to
laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of
the
stones missing and a bottle that was one quarter full
of
perfume.
But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed
how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing
some
of the perfume on her wrist.
Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough
to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my
Mom used to."
After the children left she cried for at least an hour.
On that
very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and
arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs.
Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked
with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she
encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of
the
year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children
in the
class and, despite her lie that she would love all the
children
the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy,
telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever
had in
his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy.
He then wrote that he had finished high school, third
in his
class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had
in his
whole life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that
while
things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school,
had
stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with
the
highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that
she was
still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his
whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came.
This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's
degree,
he decided to go a little further. The letter explained
that she
was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But
now
his name was a little longer. The letter was signed,
Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.
The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another
letter that spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and
was going
to be married. He explained that his father had died a
couple
of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might
agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually
reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs.
Thompson did. And guess what?
She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones
missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume
that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last
Christmas together. They hugged each other, and Dr.
Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you,
Mrs. Thompson, for believing in me. Thank you so much
for
making me feel important and showing me that I could make
a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back.
She
said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one
who
taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know
how to
teach until I met you."
Warm someone's heart today.... Pass it along.
(return to Contents)
Never underestimate the Power of Purpose..
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift
That's why it's called the 'Present'
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns,
unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as
masculine or
feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have
a
gender association although in English these words were neutral.
Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a
computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into
two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine
or
feminine. One group was composed of the women in the class, and the
other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their
recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in
the
masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the
time
they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited
a
little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely
be
referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers
is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
for later
retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning
with
$86,400.
It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed
to use
during the day. What would you do? Draw out ALL OF IT,
of course!!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have
failed to
invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow."
You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to
get
from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth
to a
premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to
meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided
an
accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won
a silver
medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because
you
shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your
time.
And remember that time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!!
